


Spilled the Beans

by Cuddle_Bat



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Selectively Mute Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Side Royality, Soulmark AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:36:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22329286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cuddle_Bat/pseuds/Cuddle_Bat
Summary: Virgil Centric(I don't know how to write a summary for a oneshot without spoiling stuff so yeah sorry)
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 205





	Spilled the Beans

“Wait, Virgil, what do you  _ mean  _ you don’t like The Office?!” Roman says. Virgil rolls his eyes at Roman’s dramatics and signs  _ ‘I just think it’s stupid.’  _ Roman looks to Patton for help, “What’d he say?” 

Instead of Patton responding, Logan does. “He said he thinks it’s stupid.” He says, holding the door to ZYBEAN open for the others.

Patton, Logan, and Roman had dragged Virgil to a new coffee shop they heard about. It was alien themed, as the name might suggest. The others had come here before, but they’d never brought Virgil with them before. Virgil preferred to stay indoors, but he actually thought this place was kinda cool… The staff had to wear alien hats so that was really fun to look at. The barista was a 30-something-year-old muscular guy, who looked as serious as ever. Not as stoic as Logan, but still serious. Yet here this guy was, an alien hat on his head. He seemed to enjoy his job, though. Good for him.

The group of friends ordered their coffee, Patton translating Virgil’s ASL for the barista, and sat down at a table, where Virgil let his thoughts take over his mind.

A sigh escaped Virgil’s lips as he stared down at the soulmark on his wrist. Everyone had one on the wrist of their dominant hand. He’s a leftie, so not many people notice his at first. I mean, he uses his left hand to sign so he’s not sure why people don’t notice it. It’s mainly due to the fact that his soulmark is literally just a dot. Just… a dot. Why? Everyone else had cool ones! Like, his friend Patton (and Roman) had peace signs! But, of course, Virgil’s just  _ had  _ to be the boring one. 

Honestly, he didn’t really mind it much anyways. Why wait to find someone you love based on a stupid mark? That sounds so boring! What if his soulmate wasn’t as good as they’re supposed to be?

_ What if they’re rude? What if they hate me? What if they think the fact that I don’t talk is annoying? What if… they die before I meet them? _

Oh… that’s a  _ real _ possibility. And that scares Virgil. But he can’t stop thinking about all the horrible things that come with something like that.

_ What if I waste my life waiting for that special someone and then… it never happens? What would I do then? What would everyone else think? They’d probably pity me more than they already do. Why do I think I get good things because I deserve it? I’m usele- _

Virgil was dragged out of his thoughts as a familiar voice called his name. Patton. “You okay, kiddo?” 

Virgil signed a quick yes in response, not bothering to nod his head along with his hand movement like always.

Patton hummed, not fully convinced, but turned back to his conversation with Roman anyways. They were soulmates. As soon as the two noticed they had the same mark, there was no stopping them from getting into a serious relationship immediately. Their personalities played off of each other well, even if Virgil thought it was irresponsible to start a relationship in such a sudden manner. Not his business.

Virgil smiled at his friends, he’s glad that they try to include him, despite being constantly preoccupied with each other. Though he’s not included often, he’s still thought of.

_ They feel sorry for me. It’s because I’m the only one without someone else. It’s pathetic that I have no other friends. Hell, the friends I do have probably don’t even like me. Especially Logan. I bet he’s just itching to get rid of me.  _ **_I shouldn’t even be here. I need to leave. They don’t want me here._ **

He decides to leave now. Two reasons: One, so that the others don’t see him having a mental breakdown. And, two, so that he doesn’t have to sit there awkwardly anymore as the others talk amongst themselves, excluding Virgil unintentionally.

He grabbed his bag and his drink and left the booth. He threw them all a peace sign and headed towards the exit, not wasting any time. He feels bad for not even signing a simple goodbye, but he doesn’t think he can without crying right now. Not fun.

As Virgil is leaving the shop, he lets his thoughts take over his mind once again. 

_ Disgusting. Awful. Waste of space. You don’t deserve them. You don’t deserve anything nice. You don’t deserve t- _

Apparently, he wasn’t looking where he was going, because he ran into something. No-- someone. Oops…

And now he’s tearing up. He looked up at the guy, just now realizing that he’d spilled his coffee all over the poor man’s white shirt… yikes. Not only that, but some of it got on Virgil’s own clothes; Namely, his jacket. Fuck. Now he has to wash it. The thought of having to part with his beloved jacket makes him cry even harder.

_ Now is not the time to be thinking about yourself! _

Virgil turned his attention from his jacket to the man he bumped into. Now that Virgil was looking at him, this guy seemed very…chill. He was taller than Virgil, slightly muscled, and very stylish. He sported a leather jacket with a bi pride pin on it. Nice. He wore black skinny jeans that hugged his legs perfectly, and sunglasses that fit his face nicely. Not everyone can pull off sunglasses. But this man… he sure can.

_ What if my jacket is ruined forev- _

“Are you okay?” The man put his sunglasses on his head, revealing his pretty hazel eyes. Virgil was definite _ ly not staring at him, why would you think that hahaha…  _

Virgil starts hyperventilating because this guy is too tall for him to slip past and he’s blocking the door. He ca _ n’t get out I need to get out let me go- _

“Woah, it’s okay, calm down. It’s totally fine, hun. I spill stuff on this shirt all the time, don’t worry about it. I have a great homemade detergent that’s amazing at getting stains out. It’s really not a big deal,” 

That’s not why Virgil was upset, but this guy didn’t know that. Luckily, this commotion caught the attention of Patton, who came to help. 

Patton led Virgil back inside, to their booth. Virgil anxiously followed the other, tossing his empty, kinda broken, coffee cup into the trash. He sat on the floor beside the table on accident but he didn’t seem to notice as he drifted into his thoughts once again.

_ At least it wasn’t hot coffee… _

Patton was trying to calm Virgil down but he couldn’t really hear him. He was listening, but whatever Patton was saying sounded like a garbled mess. Virgil tried to follow the breathing exercise but it was way too hard to keep up. It seemed like Patton was speaking a foreign language. 

Patton seemed to notice that Virgil was still out of it, so he motioned for Logan to come and help. Patton can’t always help with panic attacks, sometimes only Logan could help Virgil calm down. 

Logan took the signal and came over to try and calm Virgil down. He sat on the floor next to him and tapped Virgil’s knee softly to let him know he was there, and to get him to look at him. Virgil did. Logan took a different approach than Patton, and signed to Virgil.  _ ‘Can I touch you?’ _

_ ‘Yes’ _

Logan slowly put a hand onto Virgil’s waist, giving him the two-tap-warning before lifting him into his lap. Logan positioned him to where Virgil was facing him. The two of them had come up with a nonverbal warning for when Logan was going to pull Virgil into his lap.

Virgil immediately clung onto Logan, gripping the back of his shirt like it was the only thing keeping him alive. He let the sobs rack through his body, burying his head into Logan’s shoulder so that he could hide from the world. He hoped that no one was looking at him. What would they even be thinking about him? 

_ They must think I’m an absolute idiot. I’m just a wreck. A nightmare. No one should have to deal with me. I’m useless. I don’t deserve this.  _

Virgil started hyperventilating again, but worse this time. Logan pried one of Virgil’s hands from his back, and placed it on his own chest. They’ve done this exercise before, so Virgil knows what to do. Try to make his breathing match Logan’s. Logan had made it easier for Virgil this time by speeding up his own breathing a little, so that he can gradually help Virgil come down.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours; Logan had gotten Virgil back to Earth, and he wasn’t breathing too hard anymore, so Logan released Virgil’s hand off of his chest. He’d gotten used to it being there, so it felt oddly cold when it was gone. When he let go of Virgil’s hand, he noticed his mark. He feels guilty for looking, since Virgil didn’t allow anyone to look unless they asked. He cleared his throat and pretended he never saw it.

Virgil looked around. No one was looking at him. Thank goodness. But wait… no one was here. Patton and Roman had left. It looked… dark outside. Wait… How long had this gone on for? He tried to sign to Logan but his hands were too shaky. 

Logan already knew what Virgil was going to ask, based on how confused he looked. “It has been approximately 3 to 4 hours.”

Virgil clung to Logan again, this time less tight. He was so tired. He just wanted to sleep. But he just couldn’t seem to calm down fully. Just as Virgil was about to pull away, he heard Logan softly singing a made up song to him to help him calm down. 

Virgil melted at the sound of Logan’s voice, and the warm feeling of his embrace, and the soft scent of Logan’s cologne. It was just what he needed to ground him. Logan knows what he’s doing. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened. Logan has helped Virgil overcome panic attacks and dissociation many times, and in many different places.

While Virgil was taking in the calming nature of Logan’s embrace, his voice, and his scent, he felt something else. New. Warm.

He felt Logan’s lips on his forehead. 

“Virgil, I feel so bad for looking at your mark… but I think I’m your soulmate.”


End file.
